Digital assault | 3 shabby multiplayer games

HandOfBlood

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In the latest episode of 'Brazenly Shabby Games Multiplayer Edition,' things are heating up once again. Welcome, dear viewers, to another round of garage junk that nobody needs, but that we'll still dissect for you. Today, we're putting three games to the test, which, with their spectacularly bad qualities, prove to be true digital hemorrhoids among video games.

First up, we have the 'Multiplayer Catnip Mawing Simulator,' for an unbeatable 0.99 Euros. Here, we take on the role of a cat that must mow the lawn. Quite the thrill, isn't it? Reminiscent of April Fools' Day. The trailer gives us no answers, just a whirlwind of Minecraft bamboo and questionable rap interludes. Uh, what's even happening here?

Next, we stumble upon 'Hero Rose of Storm,' or was it 'Here Rose of Storm'? The game seems to be a mix of English Infantry and penguins - a confusing mess that not even GTA 6 can top. But hey, at least there are imaginative percentage indicators to keep us guessing in the dark.

And how about 'Miner Hover Surf to Multiplayer Madness,' coming in at a proud 4.99 Euros? Here, we are shown the height in meters while we race with a hoverboard. Or is it a racing game after all? The game description doesn't provide clear answers, just promises of 'Gravity and Speed' and new friends. Well then, let's dive into the physically radical world of kids!

Lastly, we arrive at 'Battleground Battle Royale,' for a whopping 19.50 Euros. The trailer promises a Battle Royale experience that is likely more frustrating than entertaining. The developer seems to be fighting against the world alone, while lulling us with stories of pregnant wives and lack of sleep. A milestone in minimalist game design.

And then there's 'Multiplayer Bikini Brawlers' for a mere 0.69 Euros. A game that apparently helped its creator through the hell of a divorce, but offers sexy fighters and atmospheric music. A real eyecatcher - if one appreciates superficial charms.

Overall, these three blights on the gaming world leave us with one question: Why on earth were these games ever released? May they rot in the depths of the Steam library and remind us that not every game deserves a spot in the limelight. But as long as there are critics like us, we will uncover these digital curiosities and shed light on their questionable charm. Until the next episode of 'Brazenly Shabby Games Multiplayer Edition' - may your storage space never run low!

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